Scott's Story

"When I was a child and everything happened, I thought I was the only one."

When Scott Weaver was 11, his mother’s boyfriend began abusing him. “It happened at night when I was sleeping,” said Scott. “He would come in and start touching me, saying, ‘It’s alright...everyone does it.’” Over the next two years, the abuse escalated and became more frequent. The boyfriend also abused Scott’s sister. “I wanted to tell someone, but I was afraid of not being believed. He threatened me.”

 

Scott’s parents were divorced, and he only saw his father every other weekend. During one visit, Scott gathered the courage to speak up about the abuse. His father immediately called the police. “It took a while to find the guy because he went on the run,” explained Scott. The boyfriend was eventually arrested and charged. Scott testified in court, and the perpetrator went to prison.

While the abuse had come to an end, Scott encountered new challenges. “We went to live with my dad and changed schools. I was in a really small school before and transferred to a big school—that was a big transition in itself.” Scott’s father informed a guidance counselor of the situation, and Scott benefitted from that support. “My guidance counselor through high school looked out for me and understood my struggle. He made it more welcoming and warming.”

Scott Weaver, survivor of sexual assault, poses with the salmon he caugh
Scott finds that spending time outdoors helps him to deal with painful memories.

At times, Scott still faces challenges when it comes to confrontation and anger. “Sometimes there’s stuff I want to say, but I keep things bubbled up inside. I avoid confrontation, and I think it’s from having to go to court as a kid.” During the trial process, Scott testified against his mother’s boyfriend, ultimately leading to a conviction. To prepare for the trial, he worked with a supportive district attorney who prepared him for the workings of the courtroom. Some survivors find that knowing what to expect at a criminal trial can help them feel more confident testifying in court.

“I found out later that my mom also testified that she knew about the abuse, but didn’t do anything. That really hurt,” explained Scott. “But she’s my mom. I love her. I’m a forgiving person.” In addition to talking to a counselor, Scott has also found comfort in his faith. “I go to church regularly. Connecting with my faith was important for me learning how to heal.” He hopes to open his own Christian-based nonprofit one day to help men with similar experiences.

Today, Scott is thriving. He is successful in business as a TV director and controller—and a proud new father. “My daughter was born five months ago. When I start to go to a sad place...she helps. My wife also brought three kids to our marriage—together we’re a pretty happy family.” When times are tough, he takes to the outdoors to help him relax. He’s an avid freshwater fisherman, often scouting out salmon, trout, and bass.

Scott shares his story proudly, but it wasn’t always easy to talk about what happened. “I joined RAINN’s Speakers Bureau to help me get my story out there. When I was a child and everything happened, I thought I was the only one. I want men to know there is help out there, and plenty of guys who have been through the same thing."

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