“Living boldly and honestly is how we force places to accept us.”

Drew Perkoski is a student, activist, and a survivor of sexual violence by an intimate partner.

As a college freshman, Drew was sexually assaulted by a female partner. Being a male survivor of a female perpetrator created unique challenges and stigma for Drew.

Tarhata Brazsal experienced rape and intimate partner violence from her high school boyfriend. After the relationship ended, Tarhata told her sister and cousin about what had happened. “Everyone was trying to make me do what they thought would help me. People were trying to force me to act in a certain way, but my sister didn’t. Because of that, she truly gave me my voice back.”

Lacy was sexually assaulted and abused by her high school partner. “No one understood what I was going through and what it was like in that relationship. But when we were apart, I realized how great it felt to be away from him—I really wanted that freedom.”

Eileen was sexually and emotionally abused by her father starting at age two and sexually abused by her uncle starting at age four. “There was always that darkness inside me, but I didn’t know the root cause for all of it. The floodgates of my memory opened. I spent most of my 20s in a lot of pain and trying to find my way out.”

Sharon Billings was sexually assaulted and abused by her husband over the course of four years. It started with controlling behavior and emotional abuse and escalated to become increasingly violent. “The biggest thing for me was when I got to the point where I could let go of responsibility for my husband’s actions. I held myself accountable for a long time.”

Isabella was a freshman in high school when she began dating a girl who controlled and sexually abused her. Now a senior in college, Isabella speaks out about what happened to her and wants others to understand queer sexual violence.

Lilly shares her message to supportive friends and family: “It’s not going to be an overnight thing. It could take months or years. The biggest priority is making sure that the person who is being abused understands that this isn’t safe, and that you support them.”

It wasn’t until she was talking to a classmate that Barbara realized the experience wasn’t normal. It can be challenging for teens, who are new to dating, to recognize that sexual assault and abuse may be part of an abusive relationship