When I won Miss New York 2012 and Miss America 2013, I championed child sexual abuse prevention as my platform. My mother, aunt, and other women in my family had been victims, and I wanted to honor them as survivors.
I was convinced that the cycle of child sexual abuse in my family had stopped with me. I knew that prevention was possible. But as I traveled the country on behalf of national and international organizations, I began to realize that perhaps the cycle had not been broken with me. That I, too, was a survivor of sexual abuse.
I was 24 years old. I was in the public eye. Realizing what happened to me was a lot to process —- and it was harder when I had to be on stage. Like so many people living with trauma, I tried to mask the shame and embarrassment I felt. Living in the whirlwind of Miss America travels did not seem like the time to unravel such a deeply tucked-away knowing. So I didn’t.
But my trauma manifested itself in a variety of ways. It was disordered eating. It was self-sabotage. It was avoidance. I spent my mid-20s running from my past.
If it wasn’t for organizations like RAINN, thousands of survivors like me would suffer without help. I am so thankful for what RAINN does —- providing hotlines for victims, shining a light on the crisis of child sexual abuse, offering education and training so communities know how to support those dealing with the impact of sexual abuse.
Today, through seeking the help I needed and healing, I know that what happened to me was not my fault. It took entirely too long for that message to sink in, and for me to love myself again.
I want other people who may be dealing with the issue of child sexual abuse or assault to get this message much sooner than I did. Thanks to RAINN and their work, I know that is possible. I ask that you support people like me through RAINN’s efforts this April and beyond. Prevention is possible if we’re all committed to the cause.
This April, join Mallory Hagan to support RAINN and our efforts to help survivors of child sexual abuse. Make a contribution today to ensure young victims and adults living with trauma have the critical services and advocacy they need.
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Mallory Hagan was the 2012 Miss New York and 2013 Miss America finalist, winning the competitions as a champion of child sexual abuse awareness and prevention. A native of Alabama, Hagan returned to her home state, where she ran as a congressional representative for Alabama’s third congressional district in 2018, then ran for District 25 for the state’s House of Representatives.