Later in her adult life, Barbara was involved in an abusive relationship and experienced intimate partner violence. It took time and strength to leave her partner, but doing so was freeing. Leaving an abusive partner isn’t easy and can be made all the more challenging if the victim relies on the perpetrator for support. Reaching out for help from friends, loved ones, local organizations or law enforcement is often an important part of safely leaving an abusive partner.
These experiences with sexual violence don’t define Barbara, but she won’t deny the impact they’ve had on her life. “Since I’ve opened up, I’ve been mindful of just how awful it was. I’m learning to own the trauma attached to the experience.”
In time, Barbara regained her unbreakable spirit and enrolled in a master’s program studying social policy. She wrote her thesis on the importance of “second responders” and how they help change the lives of survivors of intimate partner violence. Today, Barbara works for a Violence Intervention and Treatment Program in Brooklyn, NY. She also volunteers on RAINN’s Online Hotline, providing up to 30 hours a week of critical support for survivors who need a safe place to talk about what happened. “I don’t want anyone to be alone when they’re going through something traumatic. It simply doesn’t fly in my world.”
Barbara wants other survivors to know how important, and how healing, it can be to tell someone what is happening. “Tell someone, tell anyone, tell everyone. You’re not alone. Thirty-nine years ago, I was alone. Nobody talked about being raped by your boyfriend. Now, you can reach out through a bunch of outlets and they’ll help you take your power back.”
Barbara is one of seven survivors featured in the RAINN Survivor Series. Learn more about the campaign.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.