Stalking & Sexual Violence: What Survivors Should Know

Stalking is a crime; it is traumatic, and it often happens alongside sexual violence. Yet it’s one of the most overlooked forms of abuse—by the public and by many of the systems meant to help survivors.

If someone is tracking you, showing up where you don’t want them, or making you afraid to live your life, what you’re experiencing is real and serious. You don’t have to call it stalking to deserve support. We’re here to help you understand what’s happening and what you can do next.

What Is Stalking?

The Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC) defines stalking this way:

Three parts of that definition matter most:

• Stalking is a pattern. A single incident is not enough. In most states, the law requires two or more behaviors to call it stalking. A few states require three or more behaviors. Laws often call this a “course of conduct.” 

• Stalking is aimed at a specific person. However, the main target is rarely the only person affected by the stalker’s behavior. Stalkers often reach out to friends, family members, coworkers, or new partners to try to get to the person they’ve targeted.

• Stalking causes fear. That fear can be about physical or sexual harm. It can also be fear of losing custody, being blackmailed with intimate images, or never having privacy again.

Is Stalking a Crime?

Stalking is a crime under federal law and in all 50 states, Washington, D.C., and every U.S. territory, according to SPARC. Each state defines it differently, so it may be a misdemeanor or a felony depending on where you live and what happened.

• You can look up your state’s law using SPARC’s stalking laws map.

How Stalking & Sexual Violence Overlap

Stalking and sexual violence often happen together, especially when the person causing harm is a current or former partner.

Survivors who are stalked by a partner also face higher rates of other sexual violence, including sexual coercion and drug-facilitated sexual assault.

Stalking & Tech-Enabled Sexual Abuse

Stalking can also take the form of tech-enabled sexual abuse. Some stalkers use intimate images to threaten or humiliate someone. That can include sharing images without consent, threatening to share them, or creating fake sexual images with AI tools.

Stalking as a Warning Sign

Stalking does not cause sexual violence, but it is a warning sign. When a partner is stalking someone, they’re more likely to be causing other kinds of harm, too.

That’s why we encourage anyone supporting a survivor of sexual violence to ask about stalking, and anyone supporting a stalking survivor to ask about sexual violence.

Stalking by Partners & Exes

Most stalkers aren’t strangers hiding in the shadows. Most victims know the person stalking them.

Stalking by a partner can start after a breakup. But more than half the time, it’s already happening during the relationship, according to SPARC. Labels like “emotional abuse,” “digital abuse,” or “coercive control” may be accurate—or they may indicate stalking.

Being in a relationship doesn’t give anyone the right to unlimited access to your location, phone, accounts, time, or body. You can still set boundaries with a partner. When someone ignores or exploits those boundaries to monitor or scare you, that can be stalking.

Partner stalking is also especially dangerous. Former and current partners know where you live, who your friends are, your passwords, and your routines. They also know what will frighten you most. 

What Stalking Can Look Like

Stalking isn’t only about cameras or GPS trackers. Almost any behavior that scares someone can be part of a stalking pattern. SPARC uses four overlapping categories to describe stalking tactics:

Surveillance

What it means: Tracking, watching, or gathering information about someone

Examples: Following you, using location tracking, checking your accounts, asking your friends where you are

Life Invasion

What it means: Showing up in your life when you don’t want them there

Examples: Repeated calls, texts, or messages; showing up at your home, work, or school; leaving notes; spreading rumors

Intimidation

What it means: Threatening or scaring you

Examples: Threats; entering your home or car and leaving a sign that they were there; threatening to share intimate images or videos

Interference

What it means: Sabotaging or attacking you

Examples: Damaging property; contacting your employer; sharing intimate images without consent; physical or sexual assault

Some of these behaviors are crimes on their own. Others, like sending a gift or a text, may seem harmless to an outsider. Context is what makes them frightening. A bouquet of flowers can be a threat if the stalker once said they’d send you flowers on the day they planned to hurt you.

If you’re afraid, trust that fear. You likely know or sense something about the situation that others don’t.

Why Stalking Often Gets Missed

Movies and TV shows often frame stalking as romantic, funny, or heroic: the person who “won’t take no for an answer” and wins the relationship in the end. In real life, stalking isn’t a grand gesture. Most stalkers act out of entitlement, control, or anger at rejection—not affection, according to SPARC.

These misconceptions shape how survivors, loved ones, and professionals respond:

• Survivors may not use the word “stalking.” They’re more likely to say an ex is “being creepy” or “a little obsessive.”
• Fear can look different. Some survivors seem calm, laugh it off, or minimize what’s happening—especially after repeated trauma.
• Systems focus on single incidents. A smashed headlight or one unwanted visit may not look serious unless someone sees the larger pattern.
• Partner stalking gets taken less seriously. People often assume strangers are more dangerous than exes, even though research shows the opposite, according to SPARC.

Stalking is Underreported

Survivors may worry that they can’t prove they’re being stalked or that nothing will be done. They may also feel that they’re somehow responsible—but that is never true. No one causes someone else to stalk them, no matter what they shared or how a relationship ended. The only person responsible for stalking is the stalker.

How Stalking Affects Survivors

Stalking can make it feel like the danger is never really over. Many survivors describe constantly waiting for the next message, visit, or threat—sometimes for years.

The ongoing fear stalking creates can affect every part of someone’s life:

• Mental health: anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and thoughts of suicide
• Physical health: Chronic health problems linked to long-term stress
• Work and money: missed work, lost jobs, and costs for new locks, cameras, or a safe place to stay
• Relationships: isolation, often to protect friends and family from being targeted, too

For survivors of sexual violence, stalking can add a new layer of trauma during recovery. Children and other loved ones may also feel the impact.

Many survivors change their routines to stay safe. They might switch routes to work, change their locks or phone number, or avoid certain places. These changes are often a sign of real fear, even when a survivor says the situation is “no big deal.”

4 Things You Can Do if You’re Being Stalked

There’s no single “right” way to respond to stalking. You know your situation best, and your plan can change as the situation changes. Here are some steps you can take:

#1: Make a Safety Plan

A trained advocate can help you think through safety at home, at work, at school, and online. Because stalking cases often last a long time, it helps to revisit your plan regularly.

#2: Think Carefully About Blocking a Stalker

Avoiding contact with the stalker is generally recommended, since stalkers may treat any response as a win. But blocking a stalker isn’t always the safest choice. Some survivors feel safer blocking. Others want to see messages or posts so they know what the stalker is doing and can save evidence. An advocate can help you weight the options.

#3: Keep a Record

Writing down what happens can help show the pattern, even if you’re not ready to go to the police. For each incident, try to note:

• The date and time
• What happened and where
• The platform, if it happened online
• Any witnesses
• Screenshots, photos, or other evidence
• Anyone you reported it to

SPARC offers free documentation logs and survivor resources you can download. Keeping a log takes work; do what feels manageable to you.

#4: Explore Your Options

Depending on where you live, you may be able to report to law enforcement, seek a protective order, enroll in an address confidentiality program, or apply for victim compensation. An advocate can explain what’s available.

How to Support Someone Who Is Being Stalked

Friends and family are often the first people a survivor tells. How you respond can shape whether they seek more help.

• Believe them. You can say something like, “That sounds scary. I’m glad you told me.”
• Don’t minimize it. Avoid saying it’s flattering, that the person is “just having a hard time,” or that it will stop on its own.
• Don’t blame them. Questions like “Why did you share your location?” put responsibility on the victim instead of the stalker.
• Ask what they need. Let them lead. They may want help documenting incidents or finding an advocate, or they may simply want someone who can be present with them when things feel especially scary.
• Protect their information. Stalkers often contact friends and family to find a survivor. Don’t share their location, schedule, or plans with anyone they haven’t approved.

Get Help

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If you’ve experienced sexual violence, stalking, or both, RAINN’s trained support specialists are here for you 24/7.

You can also:

• Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.SAFE
• Download resources from SPARC
• Search for a sexual assault service provider near you

Stalking Statistics Sources

• CDC, NISVS 2023/2024 Stalking Data Brief (September 2025).

• Tjaden P & Thoennes N, “Stalking in America: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey,” Research in Brief, NCJ 169592, National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (April 1998).

• BJS, Stalking Victimization, 2019 (February 2022).