Tips for Safer Dating: Online & IRL

Whether you’re looking for a life partner or a one-time hookup, dating should be a safe and consensual experience. Unfortunately, dating can be dangerous if you go out with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries or purposefully preys on others.

Nothing you do (or don’t do) can prevent another person’s predatory actions or guarantee your safety. However, you may be able to reduce your risk of harm and increase your sense of safety by following a few best practices for safer dating.

7 Tips for Safer Online Dating

Online sexual abuse is a serious issue. When offenders use dating apps and websites to find individuals to victimize, innocent people pay the price.

These steps can help you stay safer while exploring potential relationships online:

Safeguard Your Personal Information

• Never share private details like your home address, phone number, workplace, or daily routine until you’ve built trust. 

• If you’re a parent, keep information about your children private. Never reveal a child’s name, age, school, or workplace.

• Choose a discreet username. Avoid using your full name, location, or age in your profile username.

• Be cautious about linking a dating profile to your social media. Connecting your accounts can expose private information like who you know and where you hang out. 

Protect Your Devices & Accounts

• Use strong, unique passwords for your dating apps and turn on two-factor authentication (2FA).

• Avoid logging in from shared devices, like public computers.

• Use a VPN (Virtual Private Network) to protect your internet activity, especially when you’re on public Wi-Fi.

Vet Your Matches

• Research your match online. If you find anything suspicious or concerning, cut off contact. If you don’t discover anything that worries you, still proceed with caution.

• Be wary of suspicious profiles. If someone’s online dating profile is incomplete or seems too good to be true, you may be interacting with a bot or a scammer. 

Think Twice Before Sharing Photos

• Avoid sending or posting photos you wouldn’t want to become public. 

• Be cautious about clicking links or opening attachments from someone you’ve only met online. These can be used to install spyware or malware on your devices.Avoid using photos in your dating apps that you use in other online profiles (like LinkedIn or Facebook), and delete geolocation metadata in your photos that can reveal locations and timestamps. This kind of information can inadvertently share more about your schedule and daily whereabouts than you want someone to know.

Beware of Financial Scams

• Never send money or financial information to someone you’ve only met online, no matter how convincing their story seems. 

• Report suspicious behavior—like requests for money—to the app or website you’re using.

Keep Conversations in the Dating App

• Resist pressure to move your conversation to another messaging app too soon. Dating platforms typically offer protections and reporting tools you won’t find on other channels.

Trust Your Intuition

If something makes you uncomfortable, listen to your gut. Stop communicating, block the person, and report any troubling behavior.

7 Tips for Safer In-Person Dating

Once you’ve connected with someone online, you may decide to meet in person. Remember to prioritize your comfort and safety when taking a new relationship offline.

Wait Until You’re Ready

• There’s no rush to meet in person. Take the time to get to know someone online first, and only meet when you feel comfortable.

• Set your own pace. If someone pressures you to meet quickly, that’s a red flag.

Share Your Plans With Someone You Trust

• Let a friend or family member know your plans, including where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you expect to return.

• Use a location-sharing app to allow someone you trust to track your location during the date.

Choose a Public, Populated Location

• Meet in a well-lit, busy area like a coffee shop, restaurant, or park. Avoid private or isolated locations for your first few dates.

• Never invite someone to your home or go to theirs until you’ve built trust.

Stay In Control of Your Transportation

• Take your own car, arrange a rideshare, or have a trusted friend drop you off and pick you up. Avoid letting your date pick you up or drive you home—and don’t invite them into your car, either.

• Plan an exit strategy in advance. If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave quickly and safely.

Stay Aware & Alert

• Avoid excessive alcohol consumption, and never leave your food or drink unattended. 

• Pay attention to your date’s behavior. If they’re crossing boundaries, pressuring you, or making you uncomfortable, it’s okay to leave. 

Have a Safety Signal—& Some Cash!

• Set up a code word or emoji with a friend who can help if you need to end the date early. For example, texting a ghost emoji might mean, “Call and give me an excuse to leave!”

• Many bartenders and servers will help you make a fast exit if you feel unsafe. Have some cash on hand so you can pay and leave immediately.

Leave With Confidence

• If you feel uncomfortable at any time, it’s 100% okay to end the date earlier than expected. You don’t owe anyone your time or politeness when your safety or comfort is at risk.

• It’s okay to lie if you need an excuse to leave, but you can also just walk away. When your well-being is at stake, don’t think twice about taking a “restroom break” and then making your escape.

Your Safety Matters More Than Anything Else

If your date is pressuring you, scaring you, or making you feel unsafe, it is not your fault. You are not responsible for correcting or tolerating another person’s behavior. 

Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Leave the situation as quickly and safely as possible.

If you experience harm or sexual violence of any kind, that’s not your fault, either. 

You Deserve Safety & Respect

Dating should be fun, exciting, and empowering. While you can’t control someone else’s actions, you can take steps to prioritize your safety and comfort. Whether online or in-person, trust your instincts, honor your boundaries, and know that you deserve to feel safe and respected.