Sexual abuse is always devastating—but when it’s perpetrated by another child, it can feel especially confusing and isolating. You might be a survivor who’s still trying to make sense of what happened to you. You might be a parent who’s worried your child has been harmed—or may be harming someone else.
No matter your role in this difficult dynamic, you deserve clarity, support, and healing.
What Is Child-On-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA)?
The relatively new term “child-on-child sexual abuse” or “COCSA” describes situations where one minor engages in sexually abusive behavior toward another minor. When COCSA is perpetrated by a sibling, cousin, or another minor relative, it’s a form of sexual abuse by a family member (or incest).
Note that while “COCSA” is widely used by survivors on social media, it’s not yet a standard clinical or legal term.
If You’re a Survivor of COCSA
Coming to terms with being harmed by another child can stir up a range of conflicting emotions—confusion, betrayal, anger, sadness—even compassion for the child who abused you. These reactions are all valid. The complicated nature of COCSA often means survivors delay recognizing their experiences as abuse, which can deepen shame and hinder healing.
If this is your experience, please know: it wasn’t your fault. Abuse is never your responsibility. The person who harmed you had a responsibility to respect your body and boundaries, no matter their age.
You may be a survivor of COCSA if any of the following occurred:
- You were pressured, tricked, manipulated, or forced into sexual activity by another child
- You experienced repeated sexual behavior from another child that made you uncomfortable or scared
- You were touched inappropriately, exposed to sexual content, or coerced into performing or watching sexual acts
- There was a power imbalance—such as age, size, social status, or emotional development—that made it hard to say no
Unlike adult-perpetrated abuse, survivors of COCSA often maintain relationships with the person who harmed them, especially if the abuse happened within a family or close social circle. You may still love or care about this person. That doesn’t invalidate your experience.
What Survivors Can Do
Whether the abuse took place decades ago or relatively recently, you deserve to be heard, believed, and helped.
Here are a few steps that can help:
If you’re under 18, consider talking to a parent or trusted adult. You can share this article with them to help them understand what you experienced and how to respond. If you feel unsafe telling an adult, one of the following options may help:
- Reach out. Anyone of any age can contact RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline by phone, chat, or text. It’s free, anonymous, and available 24/7.
- Report the crime. Learn about your reporting options and what to expect from the criminal justice system.
- Connect with support groups. If you are related to the person who abused you, organizations like Survivors of Incest Anonymous offer peer-led spaces to process your story and rebuild trust.
- Find a trauma-informed therapist. Look for professionals who specialize in childhood sexual abuse or incest trauma. Learn more.
What matters most is that your healing journey feels safe and empowering. There’s no “right” timeline, only what feels right for you.
If You Think Your Child Is Harming Another Child
Learning or suspecting that your child may be sexually abusing another child is a heartbreaking and frightening experience. But ignoring the signs or minimizing the behavior won’t make it go away—it may allow more harm to occur.
The good news is that with early intervention, children who harm others can get the help they need to stop abusive behavior and develop healthier patterns.
Here’s what to do:
- Talk to your child immediately. Explain clearly that the behavior is not acceptable, and that it caused harm. Don’t shame them, but don’t excuse them either.
- Protect other children. Supervise all interactions, especially in unstructured settings like sleepovers, after school, or online. Make sure your child is never alone with children who may be vulnerable due to developmental state, disability, or other higher-risk conditions.
- Seek professional help. Many children who abuse others have experienced trauma themselves. A mental health professional who specializes in problematic sexual behavior in youth can help assess your child and create a treatment plan.
- Report the behavior. Contact your local Child Protective Services or use RAINN’s State Law Database to find reporting agencies in your state.
- Support the harmed child. If both children are in your care, prioritize the safety and emotional well-being of the survivor. Let them know it wasn’t their fault and get them connected to a therapist or support services.
- Be transparent with authorities. Show you are taking action. Document the precautions you’ve put in place and the professionals you’ve contacted.
This is a moment of crisis—but it can also be a turning point. Your response can help break the cycle of abuse and create a safer future for all involved.
If You Think Your Child Is Being Abused by Another Child
As a parent, it can be incredibly painful to suspect that another child has harmed yours. You may want to protect your child at all costs—but you might also feel unsure how to talk about it, especially if the person who caused harm is someone your child knows or trusts.
Here’s how to support your child:
- Believe them. If your child shares something concerning, take them seriously. Stay calm, listen without judgment, and reassure them that they did the right thing by telling you.
- Use age-appropriate language. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about what happened?” Avoid leading questions or pressuring them to say more than they’re ready to.
- Create safety. Limit or eliminate unsupervised contact with the child who caused harm. If necessary, notify trusted adults (teachers, coaches, caregivers) who can help ensure safety.
- Seek professional support. A therapist trained in trauma and sexual abuse can help your child process what happened in a safe and supported way.
- Report the incident. Even if the child who caused harm is young, the abuse still matters. Contact authorities in your area who handle child abuse cases. This step can be difficult—but it may prevent further harm and connect all parties to the support they need.
Remember: you don’t need to have all the answers right now. Your job is to advocate for your child, help them feel safe, and access resources that can guide both of you through this challenging time.
Help Is Available & Healing Is Possible
COCSA exists in a complex, often uncomfortable space. But avoiding it only fuels silence and shame. Whether you’re a survivor, a parent, or someone supporting a loved one, know this:
You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
You deserve safety, healing, and support.