For Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

Statistics reveal that sexual violence against children and teens is a widespread problem—one that’s deeply underreported.

If you’re an adult who endured sexual abuse as a child, we want you to know this truth: It was never your fault, and it’s never too late to begin healing.

Why Kids Keep Quiet About Child Sexual Abuse

Many survivors of child sexual abuse (CSA) wait years or even decades to tell anyone what happened to them. There are several reasons children and teens may not choose to disclose that they’ve been sexually abused. Some of them may resonate with you:

• Communication barriers. Very young children may lack the language or cognitive ability to understand and describe their experiences. The same can be true for young people with cognitive or developmental disabilities.

• Lack of clarity. For some kids, survival mechanisms kick in, allowing them to dissociate during the abuse or suppress memories of it. (1) These survival instincts happen automatically to protect the person being harmed. However, as adults, survivors of CSA may feel betrayed or retraumatized by their lack of clear memories.

• Lack of support. Depending on a survivor’s developmental stage or home environment, they may feel afraid that no one will believe them or that they’ll get in trouble if they tell—and they may not be wrong. Some survivors report being disbelieved, dismissed, mocked, or even punished when they tried to disclose CSA to someone they trusted.

• Fear of retribution. Some perpetrators silence the children they abuse by threatening to hurt them or the people they love.

• Self-blame. Other survivors feel embarrassed or ashamed, blaming themselves for the abuse. Perpetrators can be quick to use guilt tactics to shift blame onto the child or adolescent they’re abusing.

CSA Causes Harm Even After the Abuse Ends

Child sexual abuse profoundly affects survivors, often manifesting years or even decades later. That’s because childhood is a critical period for emotional and neurological development. When trauma occurs, it can fundamentally alter brain structures related to stress response, emotion regulation, and interpersonal interactions. (2) 

The coping mechanisms developed by the brain during childhood often persist into adulthood. Adult survivors of CSA may experience any number of these impacts: 

Guilt, Shame, or Self-Blame

Society’s stigmas and misconceptions around sexual abuse can prompt survivors to feel guilty or blame themselves. Those feelings may be even more intense if you experienced involuntary physical reactions during the abuse. (3) But feelings aren’t always rooted in truth. And the truth is that you are not in any way responsible for what someone else did to you.

Intimacy & Relationship Challenges 

Early sexual abuse can significantly disrupt a survivor’s understanding and experience of intimacy. (4) If you have difficulty trusting partners, experience anxiety during intimacy, have intrusive memories or flashbacks, or behave in ways even you don’t understand, you aren’t “crazy” or “broken.” Healing isn’t fast, but it is possible, and it can help you become the kind of partner you want to be.

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth Struggles

Negative and harmful messages from abusers or the experience of betrayal can profoundly impact a survivor’s self-image, leading to long-term difficulties in personal, professional, and social spaces. (5) Maybe you struggle to believe good things about yourself, need constant reassurance to feel okay, or don’t see yourself as intrinsically worthy of love and fulfillment. If so, you may be suffering the very real aftereffects of childhood trauma.

It’s Never Too Late To Begin Healing

The healing journey is deeply personal and unique to each individual. These are some of the research-backed strategies that have helped many survivors make sense of their experiences and reclaim their lives:

• Professional therapy. Working with a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in childhood sexual abuse can provide a structured, safe space where you can begin processing the trauma. (6)

• Supportive community. Strong, supportive relationships have a profoundly positive impact on recovery. Intentionally building a community can help by reducing feelings of isolation and providing much-needed validation.

• Daily self-care. Regular physical activities, mindfulness meditation, journaling, and getting adequate rest and sleep can support emotional regulation and make you more resilient.

• Survivor groups. Connecting with other survivors through structured support groups can provide validation, cut through stigma, and help you learn coping strategies from peers who understand the journey firsthand. (7)

SOURCES

(1) London, K., Bruck, M., Wright, D. B., & Ceci, S. J. (2008). Review of the contemporary literature on how children report sexual abuse to others. Child Abuse & Neglect.

(2) Anda, R. F., Felitti, V. J., Bremner, J. D., Walker, J. D., Whitfield, C., Perry, B. D., … Giles, W. H. (2006). The enduring effects of abuse and related adverse experiences in childhood. European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience.

(3) Finkelhor, D. (2009). The prevention of childhood sexual abuse. The Future of Children.

(4) Easton, S. D., Leone-Sheehan, D. M., Sophis, E. J., & Willis, D. G. (2011). “From that moment on my life changed”: Turning points in the healing process for men recovering from child sexual abuse. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse.

(5) Briere, J., & Elliott, D. M. (2003). Prevalence and psychological sequelae of self-reported childhood physical and sexual abuse in a general population sample. Child Abuse & Neglect.

(6) Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

(7) Yalom, I. D. (2005). The theory and practice of group psychotherapy. Basic Books.