Show Up To Help Survivors H.E.A.L.

RAINN’s H.E.A.L. acronym is a simple, powerful guide to help people show up for survivors. Share resources, become trauma-informed, advocate, and listen.

Whether you’re a friend, a family member, or a caring community member, these four steps can help you offer meaningful support to someone who has experienced sexual violence—without judgment or pressure.

H: HAVE Resources to Share

You don’t have to have all the answers, but it’s important to know where to point someone who needs support.

Identify a short list of support resources you can offer a survivor when the right moment arises. Consider including medical professionals, mental health counselors, crisis centers, legal advocates, or peer support groups.

Start with RAINN’s 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline, where survivors and their loved ones can get free, confidential, 24/7 support in English and en Español.

Every survivor’s support needs are different. Some may want to speak to a counselor, while others may want legal advice—or just a quiet moment to talk with someone they trust. 

When you’re prepared with options, you can better help any survivor make empowered, informed choices.

E: EDUCATE Yourself to Become Trauma-Informed

“Trauma-informed” quite literally means being informed about the effects of trauma and how to best interact with people experiencing those effects. 

Follow these steps to become more trauma-informed:

Offer Trauma-Informed Support

We don’t have to know that someone experienced trauma to respond in a trauma-informed way. Here are a few examples of how to support someone who may be experiencing the long-lasting effects of trauma:

  • Respect their autonomy and agency. Don’t press them to talk about the trauma or what they’re going through, and don’t offer advice unless they ask for it. Let them lead.
  • Validate their experiences and feelings. Responses like “I believe you,” “You didn’t do anything to deserve this,” and “I’m here for you” offer trauma-informed validation.
  • Recognize how trauma shows up. Trauma can cause different responses at different times as an individual processes what they experienced. Learning more about survival responses can help you understand the effects of trauma.
  • Avoid blame. If a survivor discloses to you, don’t ask what they were wearing, if they were drinking, or why they didn’t report to the police. These questions remove blame from the perpetrator and place it on the survivor, causing even more pain.
  • Be patient. Healing isn’t linear. There’s no timeline, deadline, or checklist for recovery from trauma. Even when someone has been working on their healing for a long time, they can still experience symptoms of trauma. Hang in there with them for the long haul, however that looks.

Being trauma-informed also means caring for yourself while you support others. If you’re hearing difficult stories or navigating your own emotional reactions, give yourself space to rest and recharge. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

A: ADVOCATE for All Survivors

Advocacy can be as public as marching in a protest or as personal as defending a friend’s right to be heard.

Every time you speak up, donate, volunteer, or even share a survivor-centered article, you help build a world that’s safer and more supportive.

Here are some ways to turn your advocacy into action:

  • Volunteer at your local rape crisis center
  • Participate in awareness events like SAAPM: Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month
  • Challenge harmful language or myths when you hear them
  • Support policies and laws that protect survivors and prevent sexual violence
  • Express willingness to accompany survivors to appointments or interviews if they ask

Above all, respect each survivor’s autonomy. Advocacy is not about pushing someone to speak out, report, or take action before they’re ready. It’s about standing with them, not steering them.

L: LISTEN to Survivors

Listening is one of the most powerful things we can do for one another. When survivors feel heard, believed, and supported, it helps restore their sense of trust and control.

What you say matters. So does what you don’t say.

Show meaningful support by saying things like:

  • “Thank you for telling me.”
  • “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “I believe you.”

Avoid saying things that can cause further harm.

  • Don’t ask “Are you sure that’s what happened?”
  • Don’t downplay the experience: “It could have been worse”
  • Don’t ask for unnecessary details
  • Don’t suggest they “need to let it go” or “should be over it by now”
  • Don’t pressure them to report to law enforcement or confront the perpetrator

Just listen. Sit with them. Show that you care.

And remember—listening doesn’t mean fixing. You don’t have to solve everything. You just have to show up and hold space.

Let’s Heal Together

Survivors of sexual violence deserve more than sympathy. They deserve informed support, active advocacy, and the right to heal on their own terms.

By learning how to H.E.A.L.—Have resources, Educate yourself, Advocate, and Listen—we can build stronger, more compassionate communities where no one has to heal alone.

Last updated: August 4, 2025
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